New York Wingwomen Will Solve Your Dating Problems

by Chiara Atik · March 29, 2010

    `Unattractive, unpopular guys should have thought of this GENERATIONS ago: instead of getting turned down by beautiful women, why not pay a beautiful woman to go talk to your object of desire for you? It's like Cyrano de Bergerac, but opposite, and sort of creepier.-

    Ugly men have been paying beautiful women for sex for ages. Now, ugly men can pay beautiful women to convince other women to have sex with them, for free!

    New York WingWoman is a site that lets men rent out WingWomen (by the hour) to make the first move. According to the site....

    "Imagine coming home with a handful of phone numbers at the end of the night, and the ability to pick who you're going to call the next day..."

    So, imagine you're not completely incompetent? Most people have the "ability to pick"...

    "It's a fact: beautiful women are the most receptive to other beautiful women."

    Okay, but if Heidi Klum tried to pawn off her ugly and weird friend on me, I'd still probably be pissed.

    "I let other girls know that you're fun, confident, smart and sexy."

    Except, of course, if you've resorted to using New York Wingwoman, you're...not any of those things.

    "First we schedule a brief chat so I can learn a little about you and what kind of girl you're looking for. After that, I can tell you what venues will be our best bet. Then we settle on a game plan."

    Apparently, such a service costs $85 an hour! Can you imagine how a Wingwoman must approach another woman? Cause we can.

    Scene: A hot girl sits at a bar, by herself, drinking a martini. WINGWOMAN approaches.

    WINGWOMAN this is going to sound weird, but, the guy I'm with has been checking you out all night, and I just thought I'd save him some effort and come over and see if you're single.


    Oh! Uhm...yeah. I guess so?


    His name is Fred...I've had the hugest crush on him for years, but like, I guess I just have to realize it's not gonna happen for me. Which is too bad, because the one time we hooked up was A. Mazing.




    I've always thought there might still be hope for me. I waited so patiently for him to come back from rescuing orphans in Haiti. But I see now, from the way he's been looking at you...he's never looked at me like that before.


    Uhm, which one is he?


    He's the fun, confident, smart and sexy one sitting at the table over there.

    Camera pans to reveal:

    Ohhhh, man. I really hope New York WingWomen gets its own reality show.

    More on dating...

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